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PTR
10.2.7
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10.2.6
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The Dawn of Corruption (chapter 3)
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Post by
343990
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Post by
Skreeran
Can't read it all now, about to pass out, but just two things:
1. That is a wall of text. Try breaking it into paragraphs. You readers will thank you.
2. When I read Andross, I immediately thought of Star Fox. Don't know if you meant that or not, but it is somewhat distracting.
Will read and critique more tomorrow after I get back from the dentist.
Post by
236602
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Post by
Morec0
He fixed the first one, so I'm assuming that, when he gets the chance, he'll do the same with this one.
Post by
343990
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
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