Post by Atik
They should make him a world boss.
You gather 10 players and have the sand, and then when you go to turn in the quest you attempt to drown him, but he becomes
Gahz'Ranka's second cousin twice-removed, GAH'SPANKA (Level ? Boss)
Then he yells: "Did you just try to choke the Chicken of the Sea?" and aggros.
He has 10 yard knockback and a spell with a long cast time that will teleport the target and the nearest two party or raid members to the rig in Thousand Needles to be swarmed by level 87 non-elite Makrura NPCs called CRAB PEOPLE that jump onto the boat.
They will spam yell stuff like "CRAB PEOPLE CRAB PEOPLE CRAB PEOPLE," "Tastes like crab, walks like people... CRAB PEOPLE," etc. every time they attack and need to be tanked while the DPS burns them with AoE. You'll also need a healer to get teleported with in the group of 3 people.
The two other teleport group members needs to be within range of the person being teleported and everyone else needs to get the #### away from them. After they kill all the CRAB PEOPLE npcs, they will be teleported back and the boss will be stunned for 20 seconds, giving a burn phase.
Every 10 seconds, he will also put a debuff called "Electric Jesus" on a random person. If they do not stop targeting and attacking, then use /dance within 5 seconds of gaining the debuff, they will be shapeshifted into a Gnome and punted 40 yards away.
He will also spawn fire patches, but instead of the usual graphic they are Basic Campfires. Every 15 seconds after they are spawned, they will glow purple. A raid member must then stand in them (they will do no damage when glowing purple) and right click them to bring up a dialog that says "Vote for Basic Campfire in the 2012 Warchief Primaries?: Yes / No." If the raid member clicks "Yes," they will prevent themselves from being targeted by Electric Jesus for 20 seconds and that Basic Campfire will simply despawn. If they click "No," they are skyrocketed across the ocean until they end up in Eastern Kingdoms. If the campfires aren't clicked for 10 seconds after they turn purple, the raid takes 9001 Fire damage from an AoE called "Vote or Die."
There are two achievements for the fight: "CRAAAAB PEOPLE" and "Basic Campfire 2012." The former requires the CRAB PEOPLE npc waves to be killed in under 20 seconds, and the latter requires every Basic Campfire summoned to be right-clicked with "Yes" selected before the boss is downed. Hard sh## if you aren't coordinated or geared.
Oh, and the boss drops EPIX and gold of course.
HOLY &*!@ MAN! I just had to be drinking coffee!
Thanks, now I have to clean my keyboard or my dad is gonna come home and beat me with a belt! I mean, he isn't gonna believe some psycho on WoWhead made me laugh so hard coffee came out my nose!