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200 Things You Would Not Like To Read In the Patch Notes
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Post by
111695
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Merlinsback
Rogues will be getting a new attack called "slap yo momma." This attack will stun all enemies within 10 yrds for 30 seconds and heal them 100% of the damage they cause. Psh
Post by
Interest
General
-All classes have been taken out of the game.
or
Druid
-Moonfire will now do 500% the damage it was intended to do.
-All Feral abilities that do damage will do an additional 500% damage.
-The spells Regrowth and Healing Touch have been removed.
-The spell Nature's Swiftness has been removed.
Hunter
-Readiness now finishes the cooldown of Readiness as well (kind of like a few posts above).
-Aimed Shot is having it's -50% healing effect removed. Instead, it will apply a debuff similar to Curse of Doom.
-Hunters can now tame the following creatures: The Beast, Al'ar, Magmadar, druids in cat/bear forms, and other people's pets.
-Hunters can now tame all Dragonkin.
-Hunters can now track every kind of mob.
-Misdirection's charges has been raised to 15.
Mages
-All spells in the Arcane school will now do +1000% damage (yes we are essentially unnerfing Arcane).
-However, all Fire and Frost spells have been removed from the mage's spellbook.
-If a person in the mage's party is within 50 yards of a mage and says "table" or similar, the mage will be forced to cast Ritual of Refreshment.
-We have created a new skin for Mages (vending machine).
Priest
-Holy spells are now castable in Shadowform.
-Shadow spells are no longer castable in Shadowform.
-The Discipline talent tree has been removed and replaced with nothing. All priests will now know the spell Pain Suppression by default.
Paladin
-It is now mandatory as a paladin healer to bind one side of the keyboard to Flash of Light and the other to Holy Light. Afterwards, the healer must roll his/her face on the keyboard (got this off a quote).
-The Protection and Retribution talents trees have been removed and instead have been replaced with Holy.
Rogue
-Slice and Dice now increases attack power % instead of attack speed %.
-Stealth no longer works.
-Vanish no longer works.
-Hemmorhage will now cause blood to come out of the enemy's rear end.
-Rogues are getting a new talent tree called "Ninja Skills" as well as "Pirating." (no I am not implying that rogues ninjaloot)
Shaman
-Both the Earth Elemental Totems and Fire Elemental Totems have been removed from the Shaman's spellbook.
-This is now replaced by the spell Summon Lokholar/Summon Ivus, but you will only receive it if you are exalted with the Frostwolves/Stormpike.
-Shamans can now put multiple totems of the same element at the same time.
-However, the maximum amount of totems a shaman is allowed to have out is 2.
-If a shaman successfully solos an Elite mob, he/she can be reported because it is the hunter's job and he/she is trying to play out of class, breaking the ToS.
Warlock
-Warlocks can now summon people while flying (use your imaginations).
-Warlocks can now enslave the following: Doomlord Kazzak, Mother Shahraz, Supremus, Illidan Stormrage, Leotheras the Blind, Kiljaeden the Deceiver, Brutallis (again), Pit Commander, Archimonde, Azgalor, Anertheron, Kaz'rogal, and other people's demon pets.
-Warlocks have a new spells called Root of Corruption. If you went to PTR 2.32 you know what we mean. (Essentially the PTR bug that allowed a casting of the SoC proc for no mana at 50k yard range).
-Warlocks are now considered imba.
-Anyone other than a GM who rolls a warlock will be banned for hacking.
-If you grief using your warlock, you will be awarded a Medal of Griefing. If you collect 100 of these, you will receive automatic tier 666 gear.
-If a warlock deals damage of 666 or 6666 (or anything similar in this matter), the enemy damaged gets marked for death and insta-dies after 1 minute. After he/she dies, an incredibly powerful demon (the Beast of 666/Rapture) will be summoned under the warlock's control.
Warrior (whew)
-It is now mandatory for a Warrior to have 1 talent point in the Protection tree.
-In order to make this possible, we are removing the Arms and Fury talent trees.
-Warrior will now be able to use Mortal Strike and generate 100 rage per second.
-Warrior's Taunt ability has had its cooldown removed.
Mkay done.
Edit: Incorrect acronymn (/facepalm self)
Post by
Skreeran
Classes:
Paladin-
-Due to complaints, Divine shield now causes Paladins to suffer Permanent Death.
Rogue-
-Stealth is no longer detectable or breakable.
Hunter-
-Hunters will now be able to level form 10-70 in a short quest.
Shaman-
-Frost Shock now has 100,000 yards range, does not require line of sight, and causes triple damage if the Shaman is in combat.
-Totems are now unkillable.
-Shaman now have a flight form, 360% speed increase for Normal, ∞% increase for Swift.
-No more shaman can be made or leveled, only those who are already 70 will be allowed to continue.
-It now sucks to be you.
Druid-
-Due to complaints about their versatility, all forms have been replaced by the Wisp form.
Mage-
-Mages can no longer wear armor or weapons.
-All spells have been made a 1 minute cast.
Warlock-
-Fear is now instant cast and affects all target on the realm.
-Warlocks can now summon all their minions at once.
Priest-
-All offensive spells have been removed.
-All heals cause 500% more aggro.
Warrior-
-Due to the addition of a new tanking class in Wrath of the Lich King, the Protection tree has now been replaced by the Pillow Fight tree.
PvP:
Warsong Gulch-
-The Alliance flag now spawns in the Horde flag room.
Arathi Basin-
-Alliance players now start further North. In the Eastern Plaguelands.
Alterac Valley-
-Captain Galvangar can now kick players from the Battleground.
Eye of the Storm-
-The Fel Reaver Ruins now periodically spawn a Fel Reaver that is hostile to the Alliance.
Misc.-
-Undead players can now cannibalize living players.
PvE:
-All instances will now kick players that have not been active in the last 5 seconds.
-The six children in Goldshire have summoned Kil'jaedin. In Goldshire.
Post by
Kikt
I raged.
Post by
107478
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Interest
Okay part 2:
PvP:
-Honor no longer exists.
-Arena Points no longer exist.
-The new currency in place of honor is gold.
-All Battlegrounds are now merged together, making a new battleground called "Eye of the Alterac Gulch Basin."
-These battlegrounds will implement a new larger raiding group involving 200 people.
-For those of you who don't have a good enough connection, sucks to be you.
-There are now more welfare epics because noobs keep complaining about how their gear sucks.
Alchemy:
-Can no longer be profiting
Blacksmith:
There will now only be a weaponsmith class with only one weapon to craft...Thunderfury.
Cooking:
-All characters will automatically get 375 cooking.
-There is now a 99.99% chance to burn the things you cook.
Enchanting:
-The estimated cost to get 375 in this skill is now 10 million gold.
Every other profession:
-Has been removed.
World Environment:
-We are now adding Sargeras, The Dark Titan into the game. He will oneshot anyone who comes within 100000000000 yards of him. Unfortunately, this means he will kill everything in the Outlands and Azeroth. Tough luck.
Bugs:
-Everything is working as intended.
Post by
jafar
Hunter
Hunters can now only tame lvl 1 pets. If your pet lvl past 1 it will die 'of old age'.
Steady shot now automaticaly cast between auto shots.
Fixed a bug where, sometimes, enemies could do more damage to your pet then mend pet could heal.
Your Pet critical hits now cause you to recover 10% of your base mana.
Pets can now be fed alcoholic beverages
Environment
Killing guards now give honor again.
Post by
Interest
Don't worry Joeyboyle, I'm thinking of more ways the game can be ruined (improved?).
Items:
-Illidan Stormrage will now drop the Left and Right Azzinoth Blades 100% of the time.
-We are adding a Brutal version of the hunter s3 axe...just for hunters...again.
-Martin Thunder has been added into the game.
-Ashbringer (Cleansed) has been added into the game.
-Peep's Whistle has been added into the game.
-Chuck Norris's Tooth has been added into the game.
-High Overlord Saurfang's Cleaver has been added into the game.
UI:
-If anyone uses an add-on to alter their interface, they will be banned automatically.
-The new UI involves having no actionbars, no character portrait, no HP or Mana bars, no map, and no pet action bar.
World Environment:
-Everything is now one universal color: Pink.
Post by
146485
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
93437
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
115147
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
133834
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Interest
Other:
-GM's will now automatically kill you when you send a ticket to them. Stop sending so many tickets!!!
-WoTLK's release date has been announced. It will be released on the non-existent year of 6/6/6 FZ (don't ask what "FZ" means cuz I don't know).
Post by
moocow
Druid: A bug has been fixed where not all Druids would be in ToL form, as intended.
Hunter: Hunters are now able to use Plate, Maces, Shields, Wands and Relics. Hunters will have their wand damage increased by Spirit, Raptor Strike is now instant and cooldown free, and Arcane Shot is considered a spell, gaining 100% of your spelldamage.
Mage: Conjure Water has a new icon.
Paladin: Removed the cooldown on Divine Shield. Crusader Strike cooldown increased to 30 seconds. To make playing a Paladin more fun, all spells have been renamed "Flash of Light", which may occasionally cast another random Paladin spell.
Priest: Spirit of Redemption and Shadowform are now dispellable.
Rogue: Shadowstep is now a base ability, learned at level 18. It has been replaced by Desperate Measures: Whenever you drop below 99% health, all damage done is increased by 100%, all damage taken reduced by 100% and the duration of all your stuns are increased by 500%.
Shaman: Shamanisic Rage has had its duration decreased to 5 seconds. Totems will now be destroyed by the vibrations of the footsteps of any player that walks within 35 yards of them.
Warlock: Deathcoil no longer has a cooldown. Life Tap no longer triggers golbal cooldown.
Warrior: Warriors may no longer be healed.
Items: The cooldown on Hearthstone has been removed. The I.W.I.N Button is now repairable.
Post by
Interest
Items: The cooldown on Hearthstone has been removed.
The I.W.I.N Button is now repairable
.
WIN
Post by
83344
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Interest
Other:
-There is no cow level.
Post by
Interest
Death Knight:
-We are going to nerf this class on release by reducing all damage by 50% because people are under the belief that new classes will be OP on release.
-The only spell a death knight can use is Death Coil.
-The Death Knight will have a mana and rage bar.
-Death Knights will have mounts by default in order to emulate how Death Knight heroes in Warcraft 3 were always mounted.
Druid:
-Miyari is the only person allowed to roll a druid. Anyone else who does will have everything they own deleted.
Hunter:
-Hunters can now mount their pet...instantly (no not that way sicko).
-Hunters have been given an energy bar in addition to an energy bar because they complain about how often they go oom, even with Aspect of the Viper.
-Aspect of the Viper is being reverted back to its 25% intellect mp5.
-All spells a hunter casts will now be instant cast.
-Hunter abilities are all affected by 200% normal spell damage.
-Anyone who calls a hunter a huntard will automatically be banned from WoW and real life.
Mage:
-Arcane Intellect will now increase Intellect by 1000% more because apparently some of you aren't all that smart.
-The Water Elemental Spell has been removed and replaced with Lava Spawn, similar to the ones summoned in Molten Core.
Warlock:
-We are now adding an ability called "QQ Aura.," which causes every enemy in a 100 yard range to qq 100% more. This effect will stack.
Warrior:
-You will now never be allowed to group with players unless you are specced at least 41 points into the Protection Tree.
PvP:
-We are now adding S5 gear into the game, but it will take approximately 25 months to implement such overpowered gear.
Post by
Ayline
Hunters can now Insta-fear Feral Druids. Goodluck.
Oh wait...that did happen...darn huntards...
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