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Epic Rap Battles of Blizzard (Zeratul vs. Darius Crowley)
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Post by
Morec0
Inspired by
nicepeter
's
Epic Rap Battles of History
, I've decided to try my hand at some of my own. There's only one stipulation; they're all from the Blizzard universes. So sue me.
This battle features
Zeratul
, prelate of the Dark Templar, against
Darius Crowley
, commander of the Gilneas Liberation Front.
Begin!
Darius Crowley:
My name is Darius Crowley, I cleave with my fists!
Get this Zeratul; its your time to get dissed!
I talk to the dead, and that includes your game,
'Cause while the playstyle's good the plot is really lame!
And what's with the prophecy? You think that hasn't been done?
Even though its a classic move it dosn't make you number one.
You're not even the main point untill game number three?
Didn't some one do that with expansions? Oh, that's right; ME!
Zeatul:
Listen well up boy, best get outa town.
I'm an invisible Protoss Sniper, I'll put you six feet down.
You aint even a main charater, your just a sidenote.
I'll take your one good eye and shove it down your throat.
I've gota perma-cloak, and a statis field spell,
The best you can do is send Forsaken to hell.
You think your number one? The real kickoff?
Well get this you wanna be; your a Saurfang ripoff!
Darius Crowley:
I drew Varok Saurfang with my green ink pen!
I brought him to life and pwned him then.
And Saurfang Jr.? I made him by eating fiber.
My allies are the gnomes who are like f*cking McGyver!
I'm a warrior and a hunter, Yogg-Saron is my pet.
I lock him in Ulduar when he he makes me upset.
I'm a beastest worgen there is, you can't deny.
I can hit a fly at thirty yards with only one eye!
Zeratul:
Your voice actor sucks so much he makes mine sound great!
Your just a commander, I'm the f*cking prelate!
You worgen aint got nothing on the toss, your just werewolves who changed their name.
You can't even admit it but everything about you is the same!
You call yourself badass but you lost the war because some corpses got your daughter.
I killed my own Matriach to ensure she wouldn't be Zerg fodder.
You may cleave with your fists but I've got a f*cking warp blade!
When's the last time just punching things ever got you laid?
Who won? Who'll be up next? Was this even any good? You decide!
Vote and suggest with your comments.
Post by
oneforthemoney
Well now, that was hysterical.
Post by
OverZealous
I'll admit I love nicepeter's Rap Battles, so this immediately scored points, but I think it's brilliant.
This Darius fellow really had nothing on Zeratul at any point, but especially Zeratul's last few lines ate him alive.
Next up, I'd suggest Thrall (or save him for later? Or no major characters?) or Tychus Findlay(Starcraft II) versus Diablo's Baal.
Post by
Patty
That last verse is magnificent.
Post by
OverZealous
That last verse is magnificent.
This.
Post by
RoGiLLusion
U have some awesome wierd talent :)
Post by
Monday
Darius wins imo, but that was absolutely brilliant, Sir Dictator. NEEDS MOAR.
Post by
gnomerdon
I foresaw this..
Post by
Morec0
Glad to see this turned out fairly funny. I will be doing more relatively soon, just have to think of more lines. And I'll admit; Zeratul's lines were better, but then again Darius Crowley is
Darius Crowley
.
Post by
Thror
Afaik, the Darius Crowley meme has not gained much popularity here on Wowhead.
Anyway, 10/10 man, those were some sweet verses. Looking forward for more :3
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