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Story - Laylesmus
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Post by
Levarus
Warlock of the Cult of the Damned -
As a boy Laylesmus lived in Darkshire. His family was poor and he had 8 siblings that lived in a small, dusty house within the village. One day, wandering just a little too far away from home, Laylesmus found a cave that looked somewhat ominous, but his curiosity lured him into the dark coven. Upon entering, he found stacks of skulls and a well that looked as if it had green liquid in it, upon the darkness stumbled out what looked like an Orcish Necromancer to Laylesmus.
"Stand back, foul demon!" yelled Laylesmus, pulling out a wooden sword that was gifted to him on the Feast of Winter Veil. "Dumb kid, who dares step into Khaz'ran's lair! Prepare to be eaten and have you're soul manifested!" the Orc shouted. Laylesmus ran away as fast he could and told his father, who was a member of the Night's Watch.
Knowing this, his father rallied the others members of the Night's Watch, bringing about 4 others to the cave Laylesmus spoke of. But upon entering the cave, everything was gone. "No, I saw it with my own two eyes!" Laylesmus exclaimed, sure his father would beat him for this, making a complete fool of him in public.
"No, it's possible." said one of the Night's Watch members. "When the Orcs invaded what was once the Grand Hamlet, some Orcs were corrupted with Demon Blood, allowing the use of Necromancy and Fel Magic, this Orc could of just been left behind." "Sounds like Horde talk to me, pal." said Laylesmus' father, who was attempting to blame the situation on the other guy instead of take the blame.
Becoming a public imbossil, Laylesmus' father decided to move the family to a larger house in Stormwind, having a job opportunity as a baker there and saving up funds over the years. Laylesmus and his 8 siblings moved to a stone building in Stormwind. "Wow...." Laylesmus said upon entering the city gates, the statues seemed to stare right down at him as he walked through the bridge.
Sure, Laylesmus had to sleep with his 3 brothers in a less then king's sized bed at the age of 13, but he was the oldest, often throwing his brothers on the floor and taking up the room. Something was...different about him though, and he knew this, no it wasn't puberty, it was something even darker. He often found himself getting angry and the candle lights around him flickering, or becoming cold as ice.
He'd often walk around the streets of Stormwind un-supervised and see that Orc Warlock among the crowds of people, but with a blink of his eye. No one was there. Over the years he got worse and worse, people eventually just tried to stay away from him as much as possible. He was even kicked out of The Cathedral of Light, for constantly insulting the priest and his divinely servants.
Fueled with endless hate, he seeked a place that would cure his lust, for at the age of 17 he understood now what happened at Darkshire all those years ago when he was 9. The Warlock cursed him. Practicing the arts of shadow on his brothers time to time or being found out in the woods of Elwyyn torturing squirrels and rabbits. His family had enough.
Kicked out of the home and said never to come back, Laylesmus had a plan for his family, a dark one. Managing to steal money from some local residents and buy a house in the Mage district, there he further practiced the shadowy arts of Affliction. Until he became 21. Caught in the act of stealing, local guards got a search warrant for his house and found 32 victims, murdered, tortured, tested on, all in the darkness of his basement.
Evading arrest, Laylesmus made plans with The Scourge. Promising he would serve diligently if he could be risen from the dead, the Stormwind Jury announced Laylesmus to be killed and naming him an enemy of the public.
Locked away in his dark home, SI:7 agents were sent to finish the job, killing Laylesmus in his sleep. Now, Laylesmus is in the Cult of the Damned and a servant of Kel'thuzad within the Unholy halls of Naxxramas, honing his powers with the dark arts of Affliction and testing the plague on weak and innocent victims.
Serving Kel'thuzad and joining the Cult of the Damned, Laylesmus continued strengthening his powers with the art of Shadow Magic, however, having no knowledge of the Fel or Fiery energies that most other Warlocks possessed, he had no demon minion or could not use any fire magic. Which didn't bother him at all.
The Scourge was indeed a place for Laylesmus.
Please tell me what you think and if anything could be improved upon! Thankyou for taking the time to read my story :)
Post by
Mojoworkn
I almost feel this is like a folktale (I'm not even sure if that's what you call it), meant to scare little kids sleepless so they behave themselves. Whether or not you intended this, I like the concept. For me it was a little short, and I would have liked to have seen what became of Laylesmus with the Scourge.
There are of course grammatical and spelling mistakes littered throughout the piece. I would suggest running it through a word processor such as Microsoft Word or Pages. It would probably fix a lot of the glaring errors in your work.
Another thing is that you should always start a new paragraph when a new person speaks in dialogue. Like so...
"Stand back, foul demon!" yelled Laylesmus, pulling out a wooden sword that was gifted to him on the Feast of Winter Veil.
"Dumb kid, who dares step into Khaz'ran's lair! Prepare to be eaten and have you're soul manifested!" the Orc shouted.
Other than that though, simplistic stories definitely have their rightful place in the world of writing, and your story is no different. I am a big fan of the concept you were trying to achieve here. Please continue honing your skillz as a writer, we need more of them in the world! :)
Post by
Levarus
Thanks, I'll try to improve upon this :)
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