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The QOTD Thread: Goodbye
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Post by
asakawa
No.
However, there's two separate questions. Is it effective? Is it moral?
I don't know if it's effective, I imagine that it certainly could effect change but whether that would necessarily be a positive change, or the intended change, I would doubt.
I do not think it is moral.
Post by
Gone
Only up to a certain age, and not anything hard enough that it would actually hurt an adult, and
never
out of anger.
Post by
1069282
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Hyperspacerebel
Absolutely not. I agree with some level of physical restraint (holding a child's hand tight so they don't run away in a store), but not in any sort of physical punishment. I am vehemently against it. I think that it's barbaric, that it has no psychological benefits, that it infringes heavily on the rights and well-being of the child, and that people are much too blasé and willfully ignorant about the practice.
Post by
Skithus
#351: Do you believe in using physical punishment as a way to discipline children?
yes, although not as the exclusive method.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Skithus
No. I always found it strange to teach a child that violence solves anything.
Threat is violence is all that keeps modern global politics functional. Whoever has the biggest stick gets to make the rules, and you get everyone together to combine all their sticks so that no one has such a big stick that the other people's sticks combined aren't bigger, and that's how we've managed to keep a
relativity
stable geo-political climate since the end of ww2.
Slapping your child because he is yelling isn't really effective. Asking him to stop yelling first, and then telling him to stop or you're going to smack him, and THEN smacking him if he doesn't is much more effective.
The points you're trying to teach them is cause and effect, and to respect authority.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Skithus
Yes because my 4 year old child is going to care about the stable geo-political climate and not just view it as being hit.
no your 4year old isn't going to understand any rational explanation you give them about why its socially inappropriate to be screaming their head off him public, or how much stress its causing mommy or daddy. Their brains aren't developed enough at that point. But they are developed enough to understand that getting slapped hurts, and mommy said if i don't stop i'm going to get slapped so i should probably stop.
You're not trying to teach your child that if they scream their head off they get slapped, you're trying to teach them that if they don't listen to you, they'll get slapped.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Skithus
The reality is that when kids are throwing those hissy fits they usually don't stop til they are hit. And that shows that violence solved it.
I am never in any way going to teach my kids that violence, or threat of violence, is going to take them anywhere in life. But maybe that's just me.
I think you just proved my point though. Young children just can't really be reasoned with on any level until they are older and more developed. They can be screaming, and you can threaten to send them to their room, where they will continue screaming about how they've been sent to their room. Or you can take away their toys at which point they'll continue screaming about how you took away the toy.
I think up until a specific age that's all they're going to understand. Once they are able to be reasoned with however violence should only be used as the last resort.
Post by
gnomerdon
i believe in raising human beings instead of raising dogs....
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Skithus
How does that prove your point? Your point was that it's the threat that works, what I said is that that's not always true.
Anyway, I'd much rather have my kids screaming at the top of their lungs than hitting them at any point, both because I don't ever want to have the memory of having hit my kid (no matter if it was just something little that is considered *okay*) and also because I don't want to teach my kid that it is ever okay.
And if you say that hitting your kid is not teaching them that hitting someone is okay, well then you are wrong.
yet I, like and millions of others who have managed to be raised in situations where our punishments involved being slapped and spanked and whatnot have managed to somehow to grow up not to be a rampaging barbarian who beats his wife when she burns his pizza.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Hyperspacerebel
yet I, like and millions of others who have managed to be raised in situations where our punishments involved being slapped and spanked and whatnot have managed to somehow to grow up not to be a rampaging barbarian who beats his wife when she burns his pizza.
Yet you did grow up into an adult who thinks it's okay to hit children.
Post by
Skithus
yet I, like and millions of others who have managed to be raised in situations where our punishments involved being slapped and spanked and whatnot have managed to somehow to grow up not to be a rampaging barbarian who beats his wife when she burns his pizza.
Yet you did grow up into an adult who thinks it's okay to hit children.
I also think abortion is ok, but it doesn't mean my mother aborted me.
If I think hitting children to punish them is ok, then that means I think what my parents did is ok. And if i had kids and hit them to punish them, and then they grew up and thought it was ok I'm not exactly clear where the problem would be, even if your proposed logic wasn't completely faulty.
Post by
Rystrave
I grew up in a disciplinary home, where when I mouthed off or cussed I would get my mouth washed out with soap (happened once or twice), or if I did something wrong I got spanked and sent to bed with no supper. Did my parents abuse me? No, I wouldn't call it abuse at all. I knew I had done something wrong and I deserved punishment. Did it teach me? %^&* yes it did /looks around for the Lever 2000. Did I hit kids and yell at them on the school yard? No. Did I turn out fine? I like to think I did.
I cringe when a kid is talking back to their parent, when a kid is throwing a temper tantrum in the store because mommy won't buy them a toy and the mommy says "It's okay baby, maybe some other day" or "Okay, I'll buy it, just stop crying." Kids today are far too spoiled rotten in my opinion and don't appreciate anything. A good slap on the rear would do them good.
Now, I do understand that if I were to strike my child in public, I'd probably get child protect services called on me. But if my child is snarking off, being a terror or a brat, you can bet that when we get home there will be a very stern discussion about his or her behavior.
With older children is much more different. If they weren't disciplined growing up, chances are they're going to take everything for granted.
I think of all the high school kids that are just problems for my boyfriend's family (his mom, dad, and sister all work at the high school), and when the parents come to the pricipal's office to pick up the kid, the parent's excuse is "Ohh, he's just having a bad day. He wants to embarass me." Give me a *!@#ing break. You're the parent, you take charge of your child's actions. Oh, and don't get me started on the 15 year old that wrecked her 2012 Jeep her mommy and daddy bought her because she was drinking and driving. Mommy and daddy bought her a new one, since now she's expecting a baby with a 27 year old. Kids don't learn if there is no disclipline, and sometimes being strict is the only way to go about it.
TL;DR: Yes. Just don't go smacking them silly to the point where they're bleeding and welting.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Hyperspacerebel
I also think abortion is ok, but it doesn't mean my mother aborted me.
Being aborted is negatively correlated with having an abortion. A solid -1 correlation in fact. The best Biology's a &*!@#, ain't she?
If I think hitting children to punish them is ok, then that means I think what my parents did is ok. And if i had kids and hit them to punish them, and then they grew up and thought it was ok I'm not exactly clear where the problem would be, even if your proposed logic wasn't completely faulty.
My
proposed logic. You're the one who resorted to correlative evidence. I retorted with a correlation on opposite end of the spectrum.
The problem is in you using the fact that you don't beat your wife as evidence that you being slapped and spanked was okay.
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