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Why Trolls are better than you
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Post by
Queggy
I just thought that as this forum is new and starting out, it should have a good luck thread, sort of like smashing a wine bottle into the side of a ship. So this is a thread taken from the official forums. I did not create it, all glory goes to
Chess
(
Caribou16
), the mighty king of Trolls.
Why Trolls are better than you:
There is, without a doubt, no other quintessentially awesome race then that of the troll. Our detractors are quick to point out our hunched posture, bi-phalangical hands and feet, and lack luster active and passive racial traits. These people are noobs. I will explain.
Posture:
Trolls, by their very nature, are very modest and easy going. Knowing full well that standing at their full height would shame other horde races, they slouch to make Orcs, Tauren, and Undead feel less like gnomes. Trolls hate nothing more then gnomes, and would never want their allies to feel like such pathetic creatures in their presence.
Hands and Feet:
Obviously, trolls COULD regenerate themselves more fingers and toes if they wished...however there is nothing trolls hate more then the ostentatiousness of extraneous digits. And you should thank them for it. Ask yourself this: While losing horribly to a troll in a duel, would you really want more then two toes stuck up your ass as you frantically try to type /yield? I don't think so, and neither do trolls. Fun fact: Troll toes are the leading cause of and cure for colon cancer.
Racials:
These are Bliizard's acknowledgment that trolls are the best race in every computer game ever. Plus 5 to bows and throwing weapons? Ten percent of regeneration continues in combat? The ability to attack faster when at 20% health? THis is all an attempt to stop people from QQing on the forums about how overpowered trolls are. And it works. No one complains about the over poweredness of troll racials. Not because Blizzard did something right, but because people are afraid that if they complain, trolls will hack their accounts, power level them to 70, buy them epic mounts, and then delete the character.
Mounts:
The raptor is the sports car of warcraft mounts, and it is no accident that trolls ride them. Tauren have semi-cool mounts, you know, if you like minivans.
Playable classes:
Trolls can be any class they want.
It's true. You might be thinking, but wait, lol, trolls can't be warlocks or paladins or druids! You would be wrong. There is no shame in it...your puny non-troll brain simply can not handle...thought. So I will explain.
Trolls can be rogues, mages, shaman, and warriors. Therefore they are like druids.
Trolls priests can use holy magic and troll warriors can wear plate. Therefore they are like paladins.
Troll priests can use shadow magic and troll mages can use fire. Therefore they are like warlocks.
Put simply, there is not anything a troll can not do...except suck as much as a warlock. They're working on it, but it's kinda on the back burner.
Lastly, tusks.
This should not even be on the list, as it is basic knowledge that things WITH tusks are just better than things WITHOUT tusks. It can be summed up with the following equation:
Tusks > No Tusks
These apendages are extremely useful for killing, cooking, cleaning, opening letters, and mating. In fact, a troll skilled in tusking can actually kill a gnome, roast it, mop up the blood, open his fan mail, and work diligently to give you a new baby brother all at the same time.
So you see, trolls are better then you. In every way. You may be wondering why every time you visit a troll village everyone is dancing and playing catch and having a good time? It's because they are secure in their knowledge they are not you.
Post by
Sulph
10/10
Post by
17624
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
davidcollantes
Hahaha, very funny and interesting entry indeed. Thank you for posting it or re-posting it. Now I am off to create a troll!
Post by
Grados
I'd happily swap my Blood Elf Paladin for a Troll Paladin.
Ya mon!
Post by
Queggy
It's funny, cause it's true. I hate it, but that's just the way it is.
The reason there are so many troll instances is beacuse everyone hates trolls because of how much mojo they have.
Trolling is called so in order to discredit the mighty troll race, but it didn't work.
Night elves are trolls that have their tusks removed at birth because their parents aren't cool enough.
Their descendants, the blood elves joined horde to be closer to their ancient, cooler brethren.
It all fits!
Good points.
Post by
Queggy
Hahaha, very funny and interesting entry indeed. Thank you for posting it or re-posting it. Now I am off to create a troll!
You're welcome, and thank you for deciding to create a troll! Another member to thicken the ranks of the mighty troll empire!
Post by
20820
That sort of reminded me of
this article
i had found on some forums before.
Post by
Goose
Trolls are simply best. There isn't even a discussion regarding this! Trolls, by their very nature, are full of win!
Post by
TheOnyx
My favorite /silly sound byte in the entire game used to belong to Trolls:
I kill two dwarves in the morning.
I kill two dwarves at night.
I kill two dwarves in the afternoon, and then I feel alright.
I kill two dwarves in time of peace and two in time of war.
I kill two dwarves before I kill two dwarves, and then I kill two more.
However, it was removed from the game, presumably because of the connotation of the Sublime song that it parodied.
Weak
.
Post by
Silvertusk
I remember this post from the official forums. I loved it then, and I love it now.
Post by
zorlaq
haha 10/10, very funny read, especially about the roasting of gnomes <3
Post by
Pixels
Trolls are dead sexy.
Post by
87945
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Pixels
Makes me want a troll now...
Maybe my initial instincts were right when I rolled my first character on my account (troll shaman)
My first char was a Troll Shaman too, was deleted before level 5 though.
Post by
Earley
Troll Druid 4tw.
Post by
87945
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Pixels
Makes me want a troll now...
Maybe my initial instincts were right when I rolled my first character on my account (troll shaman)
My first char was a Troll Shaman too, was deleted before level 5 though.
Mine made it to the grand level of 13...
I am in awe of your greatness teehee!
Post by
Miyagui
Tusks > No Tusks
These apendages are extremely useful for killing, cooking, cleaning, opening letters, and mating. In fact, a troll skilled in tusking can actually kill a gnome, roast it, mop up the blood, open his fan mail, and work diligently to give you a new baby brother all at the same time.
QFT
Post by
Goose
Troll Druid 4tw.
Me want soooo badly...
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