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One Day In Goldshire...
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Post by
Neonhyper
<you stab a guard dummy with the emergency kitchen knife
You stab the dummy with your emergency kitchen knife.
< The Guard Dummies suddenly explode, revealing each and every guard dummy to be a kobold screaming "You no take candle!" You try to give the candle back, but they don't want it. So you turn it into a pair of nunchucks. :D
Armed with your nunchucks and emergency kitchen knife, you go into a Mortal Kombat-esque battle sequence.
You need to rub your eyes to even make sure what you're thinking is real. You swore those kobolds were there a second ago, but it doesn't seem like they're there now. Huh.
>Shift-Z (i, ?)
>i - you use your Silver Wand on a Kobold.
>You cross your fingers, hoping the wand doesn't turn the Kobold into a Dragon.
You're desperately trying to find this 'shift-Z', but it's really not working out for you.
Really.
It's not.
While you're wondering what to do now, an ear-splitting scream comes on the distance from Goldshire!
>
Post by
Joemaster240
<ignore the scream. Screams always mean something bad
Post by
500301
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Neonhyper
(Do you still have the lazer?)
The narrator would like so say, Tom does indeed still have his lazer.
<ignore the scream. Screams always mean something bad
A plea for help, it might be! Can we really ignore it in good conscious?
>
Post by
BuryYourDead
< Porkins and Terry are in Goldshire! You have to rescue them!
Post by
427702
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Joemaster240
<Yes save yourself, who cares about terry and porkins, remember they forgot your birthday last year.
Post by
Neonhyper
< Porkins and Terry are in Goldshire! You have to rescue them!
TO GOLDSHIRE! TERRY AND PORKINS ARE IN DANGER!
<Yes save yourself, who cares about terry and porkins, remember they forgot your birthday last year.
You remember this, but also remember they saved you many times in the past, you cannot let these acts of kindness go to waste.
< Yohsimitsu appears in front of you and offers to give you a ride on his sword-copter to Goldshire.
This is amazing! You soar over Elwynn by spinning your emergency kitchen knife, except, your arms are getting tired and you're about to die of exhaustion. You faceplant outside of Stormwind.
>
Post by
Joemaster240
<You begin to blame terry and porkins for all that's happened
Post by
BuryYourDead
< You then realise if they leave, you'll be forced to talk to Steve and Paddy, the sock puppits. Those guys suck.
Post by
500301
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Neonhyper
<You begin to blame terry and porkins for all that's happened
Terry and Porkins.
Those guys.
They were the ones who pointed out all the chaos when you were trying to get over all of it and now look where you are stuck outside Goldshire in a place where all these people are going crazy and nobody speaks proper common and Stormwind's King is dead and overrun with guard dummies and orc puppets.
< You then realise if they leave, you'll be forced to talk to Steve and Paddy, the sock puppits. Those guys suck.
Oh man, oh man.
NOT STEVE AND PADDY.
You beg for forgiveness for the things you said about Terry and Porkins.
< You run towards Goldshire, emergency kitchen knife in one hand, lazer in the other, prepared for whatever might happen.
You flick down your invisible sunglasses.
This is gonna be good.
To GOLDSHIRE!
>
Post by
Joemaster240
<You trip on a stone and your emergency knife drops out of your hand and into some bushes
Post by
142735
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Neonhyper
<You trip on a stone and your emergency knife drops out of your hand and into some bushes
Oh no! Not the emergency kitchen knife! You then realize that you dropped it in a thorny bush.
>You leave the emergency kitchen knife in the bushes. There's no time!
This is an emergency! You must leave the kitchen knife used for emergencies behind! You run for you life toward Goldshire, now sporting only your lazer, in hopes of reaching Terry and Porkins in time.
>
Post by
Joemaster240
<you trip again on another stone and drop and break the lazer.
Post by
229054
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Neonhyper
<you trip again on another stone and drop and break the lazer.
Crap.
You freak out for a moment, looking from side to side before seeing a whole mess in Goldshire...
> Goldshire is in the middle of a battle between the blood elf vampire queen's armies of Arthas' cousins and thrall+jaina's children who are in fact Onyxia's grandchildren and the armies of teh Slime.
Terry and Porkins are valiantly defending the city against the evildoers of Sue land. Together with an undead naked night elf, a statue of Starsky and the flying ashes of Jichael Makson.
Porkin's LAZORS are uneffective!
> Find the ashes of Haris Pilton that became an ultimate Gigantique Bag.
You drop your jaw in amazement about how sueish all of these people are. You must help Terry and Porkins and their friends as you search valiantly for the ultimate gigantique bag! You eventually find it, hidden behind Goldshire's blacksmith, you pick it up and look inside to find a jewel studded dagger.
>
Post by
229054
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Joemaster240
((what does sueish mean?))
<You grab the dagger and start stabbing whatever moves.
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