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One Day In Goldshire...
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Post by
Interest
> I light a torch to make it easier to see, then continue.
Post by
Anmity
> The road to Redridge is guarded by... something. You don't really know what it is, since you've never seen anything like it before. For some reason, you find it's appearance funny.
Post by
Joemaster240
>A guard dummy blocks the way to redridge.
Post by
lightnstuff
>Flaming madness sounds fun right about now.
Post by
278900
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Neonhyper
> I light a torch to make it easier to see, then continue.
It's the middle of the night, so this is a good idea. You light a torch that you get from somewhere and use it to light your way.
>you catch terry and porkins kissing, and start crying.
When you got to get Terry and Porkins to follow you onward, you find them kissing and you see tears brim in your eyes. Blink them away, blink them away man, you're stronger than that!
> You decide to fill the time with a... FOOD FIGHT!
Wait, do you have any food?
You don't have any food, so no food fight. Grrrrrrrr.
>Flaming madness sounds fun right about now.
>Flaming madness sounds fun right about now.
> The road to Redridge is guarded by... something. You don't really know what it is, since you've never seen anything like it before. For some reason, you find it's appearance funny.
You and your buddies start heading down to Redridge, because the border isn't that far from where you are right now. However, once you get there you see what looks to be... a guard dummy? Your worst fears from Stormwind are beginning to come back to you and you start turning around to leave and run away.
However, the guard dummy moves and starts twisting and turning into some faceless hideous beast that doesn't really look like anything you've ever seen before. Actually, that's a lie, it kind of resembles those things you've killed in Northrend before, but this is more monstrous and more tentaclely.
It also has flaming hands of madness.
And its in your way.
Crap.
>
Post by
278900
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
denjerre
> Burn it with the torch.
Post by
Joemaster240
>Ask it kindly to move out of your way.
Post by
lightnstuff
>cower before the might of bilbo.
Post by
Anmity
> Wonder if you can ride the thing.
Post by
Interest
> I continue to travel, being wary of any threats.
Post by
Neonhyper
>Ask it kindly to move out of your way.
You clear your throat and approach the massive creature, kindly bowing and asking in the nicest voice possible if it will move off to the side so that you can get through. It responds in a blabbering sound, much like the gibberish you've kept hearing in this strange twisted world, before roaring and slamming you with one of its flaming hands.
You're knocked back a few dozen or so feet, on your back, and nearly forget to stop, drop, and roll as you try and put out the flames that are creeping across your armor.
>cower before the might of bilbo.
Cowering. Cowering.
Cowering.
You're cowering all right. This thing HURTS.
> Wonder if you can ride the thing.
You're quite sure you can't ride that thing. Actually, you're quite sure that you can't even get it to stand still for a moment so that you can attempt to ride it. And even if you did manage to ride it, you ahve a feeling that you'd be burning while it flails about trying to kick you off.
> Burn it with the torch.
>equip terry and porkins as your battle gloves and punch it in the jeans
You run at the monster with your torch, intent on burning it to ash. Except when you poke it with the flaming piece of wood, it simply puts out the fire and the inferno on its hands seems to grow. You switch to plan B, and get Terry and Porkins into fighting mode as you attempt to be the best Azerothian boxer ever and cheap shot the thing.
It hits you again, harder than the last time, and you think you're seeing stars. Or are those chickens?
> I continue to travel, being wary of any threats.
Yeah, you don't think you're traveling anywhere with this thing in the way.
>
Post by
denjerre
Stop! Drop! Roll! Roll! Roll!
Post by
Skreeran
>Use combined Terry/Porkins Awesomesauce Over 9000 Laz0r Fusion Beam, summoning the might and power of Longcat and the All-mighty Ceilingcat as you scream your most fearsome "This is Elwynn!"
Post by
Joemaster240
>go to a nearby river and grab water and throw it on the monster.
Post by
Anmity
> This must be the Old Gods' doing! You realize that your praying to them is probably what caused this monster to appear.
Post by
Interest
> Flee.
Post by
Neonhyper
Stop! Drop! Roll! Roll! Roll!
>go to a nearby river and grab water and throw it on the monster.
You stop! Stop! Stop! Drop! Drop!
You're on the ground, rolling back and forth and back and forth until the flames finally go out. You get to your feet, and decide that you should maybe try dousing the flames on the giant monster with some water! Yes, this is actually a good idea. You head to the nearest river, procure a bucket from nowehre, and scoop out some water.
You head back to the battlefield and step toward the monster, hurling the water with all the might you can muster right onto the raging horrific thing. The flames go out! You cheer, you cheer happily in a victory dance!
Only to see that they just spark back up again and that thing looks angrier than it did when you first got here. Or well, it seems to be, it still doesn't have a face so you can't tell.
> This must be the Old Gods' doing! You realize that your praying to them is probably what caused this monster to appear.
Oh right! You were praying to the Old Gods, which really was a stupid thing to do, and this thing looks like all those creepy monsters you fought back in the day in Northrend.. you know... in that spider place. You hate spiders.
>Use combined Terry/Porkins Awesomesauce Over 9000 Laz0r Fusion Beam, summoning the might and power of Longcat and the All-mighty Ceilingcat as you scream your most fearsome "This is Elwynn!"
You stand in front of the monster, Terry on one hand, Porkins on the other. You stare at the creature, eyes narrowed for dramatic effect, before Porkins bursts out.
"I'MA CHARGIN MA LAZOR" He cries, and Terry helps with the scanner.
"Status report, Terry?""
"IT'S OVER 9000!" She cries.
And then you summon up the amazing powers and awesomeness of the super cool Longcat and the obviously superior and more powerful Ceilingcat to aid in Porkins' lazor charging. As the beam of super awesomeness is about to explode you loudly and awesomely proclaim.
"THIS.
IS.
ELWYNN!
"
> Flee.
And yet that amazing attack, which you must admit was probably the most awesome thing you've done yet, simply bounces off the Old God thingy harmlessly. You go wide-eyed and drop everything you're doing and flee south screaming like a little girl.
>
Post by
denjerre
Decide to take an alternate route to Darkshire.
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