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The Black Frost (Short story demo)
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Post by
885616
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
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355559
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Levarus
I like it.
Post by
Monday
I agree with Lightnstuff. It should definitely be separated more. Do a hard line break each time someone new speaks.
Also, I felt that ellipses were overused.
Besides that, though, I liked it a lot. It's definitely a change from most fics that are posted.
Post by
Inolor
Sounds like a great prologue for a good book.
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