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MODfucious Wisdom for the Honorable Off-Topic
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Post by
hymer
Mild and generous Trollfucious, a most perplexing question occurred to me as I lay in bed last night. Should I pull my cover up over my beard, or should I pull it up, and then pull my beard over the covers?
Post by
Trollfucious
Oh the great one... You had 5 apples and I divide them by 0 how many lemons you have?
Trollfucious will never have any lemons, ever. Apples are irrelevant, even if they are kind of tasty in pies.
Post by
Trollfucious
Oh wise Trollfucious, are there any downsides to not taking my boots off when I sleep?
Trollfucious think that the downside is all of the mud in the honorable rageahol's bed. Trollfucious would not want to have all that mud on his power ranger sheets, because it would mar all the glorious bright power ranger colors. Also, if the honorable rageahol was in Trollfucia, or had his own Dogfucious, there could be not-mud that looks like mud that gets in the bed from the boots, and then he'd have to explain to his mother that no, he did not in fact have an accident in the bed. Also, there are bugs in the mud and Trollfucious would not want to wake up with honorable mud bug-things crawling on his skin when he was having his dreams.
Mild and generous Trollfucious, a most perplexing question occurred to me as I lay in bed last night. Should I pull my cover up over my beard, or should I pull it up, and then pull my beard over the covers?
Trollfucious finds it interesting to have multiple questions about which body parts to oppress while sleeping.
Trollfucious has no personal experience about sleeping with a beard, because of his deficiency. However, he believes that it should depend on the length of the honorable beard of the honorable hymer. Here is the chart:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I Start of beard below the honroable chin
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I_______________________________________ Over covers above this line.
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I________________________________________ Under covers above this line
I
I
I
I Here or below, the honorable Hymer can wrap it around your neck or something and stay warm.
And now the honorable Hymer can print out the beard chard for sleeping, and put it on his wall so he doesn't forget.
Post by
hymer
My gratitude for your great help, O Trollfucious, is great, and your council will be well heeded. I hope you will permit me to solicit your wisdom yet again with a question that has plagued mankind for centuries: Is the journey or the destination more important?
Post by
gamerunknown
Do you like cheesecake? What about carrotcake? Would you ever have a lemon cheesecake?
Post by
Trollfucious
My gratitude for your great help, O Trollfucious, is great, and your council will be well heeded. I hope you will permit me to solicit your wisdom yet again with a question that has plagued mankind for centuries: Is the journey or the destination more important?
Trollfucious doen't really listen to Journey, so they are not that important to him. But maybe they are important to other people- Trollfucious does not judge those who like bad music.
Trollfucious will now be more serious- he thinks that the question is dependent on the journey and destination in question. Like if you were going to go to the corner store, and it was cold and rainy and stuff, but there was no big problem and when you got there you got to maybe see Jessika with the K and could talk to her for a while before she left in her illiterate mother's car, that would make the corner store destination much more important than walking 3 blocks with your Super Mario windbreaker pulled closed around your head.
However, if you were going to go three hours away by car to see a doctor, and on the way your honorable mother pulled over and started crying and asked all sorts of deep questions like, "Is it my fault?" and "What did I do to deserve this," and "Why can't he just be like other people's kids," then maybe the journey is a bigger deal than the destination, because once we were at the doctor's all she did was take her pills and they made her calm.
So Trollfucious say that it's hard to judge until after the journey has already happened if it was more important than the destination.
Do you like cheesecake? What about carrotcake? Would you ever have a lemon cheesecake?
Trollfucious does like cheesecake, but it is not brought to Trollfucia very often because honorable mother believes it will launch an assault on her thighs, or something like that. Trollfucious has not had carrotcake, and does not know why someone would make a cake from a carrot when they had the option to make it from something nicer like a cheese. Trollfucious would not eat a lemon cheesecake- not because they would still scare him in cheesecake ingredient form, but because it might encourage the breeding of lemons which should go extinct. He does on occasion eat lemon jolly ranchers, but only because nothing in a jolly rancher was ever grown on any plant.
Post by
hymer
O Trollfucious, what happens to a thread when it dies?
Post by
Trollfucious
O Trollfucious, what happens to a thread when it dies?
Trollfucious would like to think that when a thread dies, it goes someplace special where it continues to exist in some sense, even if it's no longer on the front page with the rest of us. It help Trollfucious to cope with the loss of the thread to know that even if he can't see it and post in it, somewhere, it is waiting for him to cross into the 5-6 pages back and be reunited with it.
Trollfucious would also like to think that where the thread ends up is based on how good a thread it was. If it was a fast-moving thread, with many jokes or good pieces of advice, where no one spent 6 pages debating the the specific definition of the word "was" and no one mentioned Nazis, then it goes to a happy page where they talk about good food and ponies and doggies and buxom women and fun television programs.
Trollfucious hopes that the threads that start with all caps-locked-silly-looking posts, and make the profanity filter work very very hard, where people link bad things about girls and cups that Trollfucious can never unsee, and stuff will go to threads where all the threads around them are bigger and meaner and they get pushed down again and again forever.
When this thread dies, Trollfucious hopes it goes to a happy place.
Post by
1069282
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
134377
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Trollfucious
When will this topic die oh all mighty one?
Trollfucious knows that there will come a time when he no longer lurks among the other honorable denizens of the honorable off-topic. When that time comes, he believes that his wisdom thread will die, and will sink into the rest of the pages with the stuff no one talks about anymore. But be assured, oh honorable Tush, that even when there is no more Trollfucious, part of him will remain with the honorable off-topic to give whatever wisdom and laughter the honorable part of Trollfucious can.
Post by
Magician22773
I eated his Father's S
o
men noodles.
I would like to caution others to read this sentence very slowly and thoroughly, as but one misplaced vowel can give it an entirely different (and somewhat disgusting) interpretation.
Post by
124740
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Trollfucious
I am watching Trollfucious' progress from afar. Although I still have his honourable Father's lightsabre, I eated his Father's Somen noodles. History tells us that this thread shall not "die" as such, but has several incarnations left.
Kind student, pray, tell us who was first to the South Pole? Is it as great master Les Barker says, and that a small patch of yellow snow revealed that it was actually Spot of the Antarctic? Or am I falling into the common fallacy of confusing the honourable Spot with the Polar Bear on the Titanic Iceberg?
Trollfucious thinks that the Honorable Pikeyboy is forgetting the everpresent danger of lemons, and that lemons are in fact yellow as well. Trollfucious has learned that about 15 years before the honorable Ronald Amundsen reached the South Pole, there was a super secret expedition sent out by the US government to exterminate a growing lemon threat there. The lemons are crafty, you see, and knew that we would not suspect them of being there because they are citrus, and respectable citrus fruits are from tropical-type places. So they built a secret underground lab there where they bred
super-zombie lemons
that were meant to destroy human-kind. The secret expedition blew up the base, and fought bravely, so that every last lemon was slaughtered, and their citrusy badness flowed from the cuts and soaked into the snow and made the whole south pole yellow, so that the Antarctic looked kind of like a fried egg. So great was the slaughter, that even 15 years of weather later, when the first not-top-secret group got there, they were still seeing yellow spots on the snow.
It has nothing to do with the Titanic polar bear.
So is trollfucious the new Laihendi, or is Trollfucious the real Laihendi? Maybe it's just the typing in third person that reminds me of Laihendi, I don't know.
Trollfucious has heard in the honorable off-topic bin that he looks like a Laihendi, but he is not one.
Post by
Magician22773
Trollfucious has learned that about 15 years before the honorable Ronald Amundsen reached the South Pole, there was a super secret expedition sent out by the US government to exterminate a growing lemon threat there. The lemons are crafty, you see, and knew that we would not suspect them of being there because they are citrus, and respectable citrus fruits are from tropical-type places. So they built a secret underground lab there where they bred super-zombie lemons that were meant to destroy human-kind. The secret expedition blew up the base, and fought bravely, so that every last lemon was slaughtered, and their citrusy badness flowed from the cuts and soaked into the snow and made the whole south pole yellow, so that the Antarctic looked kind of like a fried egg. So great was the slaughter, that even 15 years of weather later, when the first not-top-secret group got there, they were still seeing yellow spots on the snow.
Did Trollfucious by chance smoke any honorable plants from Mother's garden today?
Post by
1069282
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Magician22773
Does honorable Trollfucious go high in the skies before writing thease honorable posts? And if he does what he uses? And how high he goes? Into the space?
Am I high when I see "males you know what" walking right through the door and yelling: "Banana banana banana banana terracotta banana terracotta terracotta pie!" ?
Damn...Tush got into the garden too, I see
Post by
Trollfucious
Trollfucious has very often been asked questions about how much height he has, and whether or not he has smoked something, and he doesn't generally understand. He cannot smoke because he has the asthma, and it would make him cough. He knows this because the honorable doctor told him, and also the smoke every time Trollfucious causes a fire in the kitchen makes him cough. He does not know why anyone would enjoy breathing in the smoke.
Trollfusious height is 5'6", and he does not think he is very high. Honorable mother is less high, and even she says that Trollfucious is short. He sometimes understands this question on the internet where no one can see his shortness unless he is on chatroutlette....and Trollfucious will never be on chatroulette again because there are many people in the world whose mothers did not tell them that they need to close doors and blinds and not put on camera certain alone-time-things. But it is more confusing when people ask in real life how high Trollfucious is when they can see him and so they already know. Perhaps they have a poor sense of scale, and so they need to ask someone for a measurement for reference.
Trollfucious does not understand what is a terracotta banana pie, but he suspects that putting pottery in baked goods will lead to broken teeth. He suggests making a banana cream, or a banana strawberry pie instead. They will taste better, and be soft, and the honorable Tush may need soft food if he makes a habit of eating masonry and loses his teeth.
Post by
1069282
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
1069282
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
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