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Blame The Person Above You
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Last week I saw someone find a penny.
Last week I stole that penny.
I didn't have a dang penny to pay for my sandwich cause I dropped my change and some moron grabbed it, all i had was 3.25, and the sandwich cost 3.26! So I went hungry!
Yesterday, I slipped in the toilet when someone left the seat up.
Yesterday, I heard a loud splash from across the hall.
Yesterday, I went on a maniacal rampage as Godzilla.
Yesterday, I woke up and found my car completely crushed outside my house.
Yesterday, I left a thumb tack on a chair.
Yesterday my butt got pierced by an object of sorts.
Yesterday I threw the chair I sat on out a window.
Last week I was almost mugged.
Last week I got drunk as hell.
Last week I was trying to get with this girl at a party, but some drunk a-hole bumped me and I spilled my drink all over the chick. Totally drunk blocked.
Last night though I got a free sandwich when the clerk forgot to ring it up.
Last night I gave some bread to a sandwich shop that was closing down the next day because they had to give out a free sandwich.
Last night I received a small fortune.
Last week, someone stole my winning lottery ticket.
Last week, I broke a fire hydrant
Last week I saw a giant geyser.
Last week I went on a trip...
Last week, my boss told me that I couldn't take my vacation because he'd already given the week off to some other %^&*!@.
Last night, I accidentally all the.
Last week, I found the accidentals.
Last week, I almost lost my arm.
Last week, I told a guy how friendly captive bears are.
Last week, I failed my midterm.
Last week I saw someone fail at school and stuff.
Last week I broke the sound barrier.
Last week, someone stole my F-15
Last week, I chucked a hammer out my window.
Last week, I saw a poor kid get hit by a hammer and lose his memory.
Last week, I began writing a book.
Last week, I couldn't come up with a good response to that.
Yesterday, I still couldn't come up with a good response to that.
Yesterday, it felt like a year ago.
Last year, I was doing this crap still.
a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away i slapped you for not understanding your comment.
i $hit my pants on your lap whyll i was sitting on your lap. you were dressed as santa in the mall.
Last Christmas, the mall smelled terrible.
Last Christmas, I didn't get a 3DS.
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