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The reason to play pallys.(I didn't write it)
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Post by
Ayline
http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=93189588&sid=1
Post by
106896
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
CanadianSniper
So you don't have to click the link:
I've notice a lot ofcomplaints about paladins lately, with regard to their low dps and limited combat options. But what players are forgetting is the main reason Blizzard programmed paladins. Paladins were not designed to be hybrid tanks/healers, as many claim. Instead paladins were designed to be played while downloading pornography.
Paladins have roughly zero amount of combat interaction, thus making them the perfect character to play while downloading massive amounts of hardcore pornography. Simply target a monster, hit "1" and minimize your window. Then sit back and enjoy amazing girl on girl action.
Because paladins take about one full minute to kill a monster, you can leisurely browse the erotic and pornographic fruits of the internet, without much concern over your paladin's welfare. After a minute, go back to WoW. The paladin should still be alive and ready to loot the corpse. This is what makes grinding so pleasurable and convenient. The ability to simultaneously watch girls have sex with each other and level up at the same time. I doubt any other class has such an elegantly designed system, and I applaud Blizzard for their foresight in crafting a character that I can play while playing with myself.
DPS? Who needs it? The quicker I kill something, the less time I have to watch my $%^&ies. Combat interactivity? Over-rated. I'd much rather interact with the girls writhing on my computer screen. Yes, a paladin was created for the sole purpose of surviving a fight while you stream hot porn directly to you computer. That is why we have such high armor class, the healing ability, and the low, low DPS.
As for PVP, nothing is better than getting into battlegrounds and soaking up honor points while I watch girls take their clothes off for money. Only a minimum of interaction is necessary for a paladin to perform, and it is this very quality that I love most about my paladin. I doubt rogues get any time to watch porn while trying to vanquish and rack up combo points, and I bet shamans haven't seen a single naked breast while figuring out what totem to throw down before choosing which shock they are going to cast next.
In addition to grinding, we have several defensive options during combat that also allow us felxibility to download porn. Hammer of Justice allows us a quick 6 second glimpse at naked women while our opponent is stunned, and Divine Shield allows us a leisurely 12 seconds of quality right-hand time. Indeed, paladins have cornered the market on the pornography during playtime of World of Warcraft game play.
It saddens me that many paladins don't take advantage of the main functionality of their character and are in fact lobbying for increased DPS or more combat options, unnecessary frivolities that would only harm our pornography downloading efficiency. iinstead, we should thank the fine programmers at Blizzard for crafting a character that is great to grind with while grinding your loins.
Funny post and the first time I've read it :)
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156392
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184474
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